


One of us is sure, and one of us is dying

by myhomeistheshire



Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, But mostly angst, F/M, also a little bit of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-21
Updated: 2014-12-21
Packaged: 2018-03-02 17:09:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2819801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myhomeistheshire/pseuds/myhomeistheshire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jake knows Cassandra's dying. That doesn't mean he's ready for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One of us is sure, and one of us is dying

When Jake first hears about the tumor, it’s like a blow to the gut - he’s only moments into this world, but it’s already crumbling to pieces.

He gets used to it, though - well. As used to it as anyone can be about their friend’s impending doom. At least, he thinks that that’s what Cassie is. After the labyrinth, after the talk, she pulled away a little. The one thing Jake knows is that if she is a friend, she’s nothing like his friends back home. Those friends - they crack jokes, they give him a hard time, they stick up for him when he needs it. They don’t gasp in wonder when he brings up a fact about ancient history, or press their hands excitedly to their stomach when he shows them his old art collection. No, Cassandra is a special kind of friend.

 

 

After the labyrinth, he goes a full three days without seeing anyone. He buries himself in books, in the wonder that is The Library. When he emerges, Cassie is sitting playing cards with Zeke. She looks over at him, and he can see a little flash of hurt in her expression.

He sits to watch the rest of the round, mainly because it’s fun to watch Cassie demolish Zeke. Once it’s over, Cassie glances over at him expectantly.

“Alright, deal me in.” He replies, because he’s got an IQ of 190, for god’s sake, this’ll be a piece of cake.

 

They’re only moments into the game when he realizes how wrong he was.

 

In hindsight, playing poker with a math whiz and a thief probably wasn’t the greatest idea. Cassie immediately shoots ahead, and Zeke follows her up pretty closely - until Cassie catches him stealing cards.

“How do you even know which cards to pick?” She demands.

“How do you know which ones to play?” Zeke responds. “We’re both using our respective skillsets -”

“Except that _mine_ isn’t cheating -”

Jake watches with fond amusement, until Cassandra throws an all-in, and Zeke, of course, can’t resist matching it. Jake, at this point, has been out of the game for nearly half an hour. Cassie takes the pot, obviously, and something about the way she grins at the ceiling and drums her palms against the table makes Jake unable to look away.

 

He’s going to have to be careful, around her.

 

 

 

He thinks the tumor might be affecting him more than Cassie. Any time he thinks about it, or Zeke affectionately refers to it as the _brain grape_ , it’s like tiny pinpricks digging into his skin. He’s not sure how she does it, day after day after day.

 

He wishes she wouldn’t be so brave about it all the time.

 

 

 

He can tell that the headaches are getting worse. Sometimes it’s just her wincing a little more than usual, but she’s collapsed a few times as well.

“Dammit, Cassie.” He tells her, after the third time she falls and he only just catches her. “You have to get this checked out.”

Cassie shakes her head. “I decided a little while ago, I’m not going to take any more treatments. I want to spend the time I have left _here,_ not shut up in a hospital.” She shudders. “I really hate hospitals.”

 

So he tries to ignore it, as much as possible. Tries not to think about how much time she has left. Because if he does, he’s going to snap right in half.

 

 

They’re out trying to find the sphinx - yes, _that_ sphinx - and he’s worried about Cassie, who’s paler than usual, so he offers to go with her when they split up. Then, out of nowhere, the sphinx darts out of the bushes and bowls right into Cassie in its mad dash to escape. Jake lets it go, because Cassie’s sprawled on the pavement, deathly still.

“Cassie? _Cassandra!”_ He drops down next to her, patting down her sides to check for blood. Her eyes flicker open, too slowly, and she pushes herself to her elbows.

“I’m okay, Jake.” She tells him, but he’s reminded again of how very not okay she is.

 

And suddenly Jake realizes how close they are. His hands are still on either side of her, her face just inches from his.

 

He can’t help it. He kisses her.

 

Cassie lets out a little shocked gasp, and Jake almost starts to pull away, but then she lifts a hand to run through his hair and she kisses him back.

 

He’s not sure if this makes things better or worse, knowing that she’s leaving.

 

 

 

It’s different between them after that. They don’t talk about it - they don’t need to - but both know that they would go to the ends of the earth for the other.

 

 

Unfortunately, not even that can save Cassie.

 

 

 

They’re sitting around the library, Jake reading, Cassie sitting curled up beside him. He almost dismisses her sudden limpness as falling asleep, until she lets out a strangled cry.

“Cassie? Cassie, can you hear me?” He demands, but her eyes are locked shut, her fingers curled into tight fists. He swings her up into his arms, shouting out for the others. They come right away, and Jenkins spins his magical door into the nearest hospital. When they all cluster through there’s an immediate rush of paramedics surrounding her. It takes everything Jake has to set her down on the stretcher and watch them wheel her away. He hears Baird explaining about the tumor, but then he tunes it out. All that matters is that Cassie is in that room, and she’s dying.

 

He doesn’t really believe it until a doctor leaves the room and walks over to them.

“Are you her next of kin?” The doctor asks.

“Yeah.” Zeke replies, clearing his throat. “We’re her family.”

Jake holds his breath.

 

“I’m so sorry.” The doctor says, and suddenly his world is flipping up and down in every direction.

 

He doesn’t remember much after that.

 

 

 

The funeral is small. Cassandra hadn’t had much in the way of family, and no one really knew her friends, so it’s just them and a couple of her aunts and uncles.

 

She’d asked to be cremated, so instead of a casket there’s just a small, golden urn. He’s a little glad he doesn’t have to see her, lying lifeless in a coffin. He doesn’t think she’d like to be buried.

 

After the ceremony, the minister and another man in a suit come up to talk to him.

“Jake Stone?” The man in the suit asks. Jake nods apprehensively. “Cassandra wasn’t very specific about what was to be done with her - remains.” The man continues cautiously. “We’ve spoken with the family, and with how close we’ve heard you two were, they all agreed you should be the one to take them.”

 

The minister holds out the golden urn, and for a sudden, terrible moment, Jake doesn’t know what to do.

 

His hands close around it automatically, even though, for the first time in his life, he feels like his brain just...stopped.

 

 

He doesn’t know what to do without her.

  


 

 

The urn sits on a shelf in the library for months. He only goes out on a few missions, and after those Baird always sits him down and tells him that if he keeps acting this reckless he’s going to get himself killed, for sure.

“She wouldn’t want this,” she tells him, one day, and he _knows_ she wouldn’t, but he can’t help but think, maybe this way he’ll be able to see her again.

 

They leave him alone for a few days, and it seems like it’s the longest few days of his life. The library is too empty, without them. Without _her._ There’s a Cassandra-shaped hole here, and he’s not sure how much longer he can stand it.

 

 

So he grabs the urn, and he goes to the ocean.

 

 

 

He’s not sure which one it is, only that that’s what he was thinking of when he spun the magic door. It’s beautiful, anyway. He remembers the time they went to the ocean and Cassie, who had never seen it before, had spent the entire day running up and down the sand, and splashing in the waves. He remembers when they sat together, watching the sun set over the water.

 

Yes, he thinks. She’ll like it here.

 

He pours the ashes out, and watches them blow over the water. And the ache hits him, like a concrete wall smashing against every piece of him.

 

 

 

He doesn’t think he’ll ever stop missing her.

 


End file.
